Education

Finding My Sound Amidst the Silence and the Noise

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We all want to be a part of something that is meaningful and that gives a sense of belonging. That truth has never felt more real to me than it does right now. It is not just a passing thought. It is something I carry with me in the quiet moments and in the spaces where I am trying to make sense of where I am and where I am going.

Sometimes the hardest truth to carry is that your own backyard may not hear your song the way it was meant to be heard. For me, that is not just a metaphor. I can point to moments that still sit with me. I remember sharing the idea for #CelebrateMonday in a meeting and being laughed at. That idea later grew beyond those walls as schools across the country and beyond began using it to build culture and recognize the good in their communities. I have shared #InstantPD, presented on it, and believed in its potential to create quick, meaningful learning for teachers, yet it never fully took root in the schools and district where I served. I have stood as a finalist for North Carolina Principal of the Year and still felt like I was on the outside of that circle, never quite included in the way I had hoped. I think about principal meetings where I would sit alone, not quite feeling like I fit in, with no one saving me a seat. I think about presenting at local and state conferences and seeing small turnouts for sessions I poured myself into. I think about traveling to state and national conferences on my own without a team beside me, navigating those spaces as an individual rather than as part of a group. These are not grievances. These are truths. They have shaped how I understand what it means to feel like an outsider in my own professional community.

That realization has forced me to look inward in ways that are both honest and uncomfortable. I have had to sit with the reality that the spaces I thought would affirm me have often been quiet. That silence can feel heavy. It can make you question your voice and your place.

I have felt adrift in that silence.

At the same time, I know that this season has been both joyful and agonizing. There have been moments of clarity where I feel aligned with the work I am doing. There have also been moments where I question everything and wonder if any of it is landing with anyone beyond me. That tension is real. It is part of what it means to be human in this work.

What I am learning is that peace cannot be dependent on whether others hear the music.

It has to come from within.

I have to be willing to be transparent with myself. I have to face the truths of my past, the realities of my present, and the uncertainty of my future without turning away. That kind of honesty is not easy. It requires me to separate the events of failure from my identity. It requires me to acknowledge the hurt without allowing it to define me. It requires me to keep going even when the path forward is not clear.

The absence of recognition does not mean the music is wrong.

It means I am still in the process of finding my people.

There are people out there who will recognize this sound. They will lean in. They will connect with what I am creating in a way that feels real and mutual. They will not just hear the dream. They will help me play it louder. That belief matters, even on the days when it feels fragile.

At the same time, I am coming to terms with another truth.

No band is going to come calling for me.

That realization is not defeat. It is clarity.

It is my cue to build something of my own.

Instead of waiting to be called in or tapped on the shoulder, I am choosing to create my own spaces and invite others in. I am doing that through the work I am building with my podcast projects and through the Disruption Table webinar, where leaders from different spaces can come together in honest conversation. I am doing that in collaboration with Dr. Donya Ball as we create a space for “Real Riffs,” a podcast that is grounded in truth, reflection, and the voices of those who want to be part of something real. That work is coming to life in April, and it represents more than a project. It represents a shift in how I see my role in this work.

If I want a space where belonging is real, where voices are valued, and where the work carries meaning, then I have to create it. I have to be willing to take the same risks I have been waiting for others to take with me. I have to trust that what I am building has value, even before anyone else affirms it.

This is what leading while human looks like for me right now.

It is holding joy and struggle in the same space.

It is continuing to create even when the response is quiet.

It is choosing peace within myself while still seeking connection with others.

It is believing that there is a place for this work and being willing to build that place if it does not yet exist.

I am still learning.

I am still searching.

I am still here.

There is a sound within me that is not finished.

I am going to keep playing until it finds its way.

Failure Sucks: Learning to Lead While Human in the Moments That Hurt Us the Most

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Lately I have been reflecting on past failures as a leader. In many leadership circles across social media, conferences, and professional spaces, failure is often mentioned briefly and then quickly reframed as a lesson learned. The story usually resolves neatly, much like a sitcom where the main character faces a conflict and everything wraps up by the end of the episode.

Leadership does not work that way.

Failure in leadership rarely resolves quickly. Even when we fill our days scrolling through inspirational memes about perseverance and growth, the pain still lingers. The hurt continues. Failure does not disappear simply because we choose to frame it positively.

Too often we rush to the happy ending.

Several years ago, the “Famous Failures” memes were widely shared online. I remember drawing inspiration from those images that highlighted the early setbacks of people like Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, and Albert Einstein. One of the examples that resonated deeply with me was the story of The Beatles being rejected by Decca Records before becoming the most influential band in history. A Decca executive reportedly told them that guitar groups were on the way out.

I wrote about that moment in my book The Pepper Effect. I shared that story many times with faculty during my years as a principal because it offered a powerful reminder that rejection and failure often precede greatness. In recent years I have noticed that the story no longer carries the same inspirational weight for some audiences. I sometimes walk away from sharing that anecdote feeling a quiet sense of disappointment. I love The Beatles. I wrote a book about them. I have spoken about their story at conferences and leadership gatherings. At times the response has been enthusiastic. At other times it has been a collection of polite nods.

That realization stings a little. It reminds me that even the stories we believe will inspire others do not always land the way we hope.

Leadership author John Maxwell addressed this tension in his book Failure Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success. Maxwell writes, “One of the greatest problems people have with failure is that they are too quick to judge isolated situations in their lives and label them as failures.” He reminds readers that mistakes are inevitable and that mistakes only become true failures when we continually respond to them incorrectly.

Amy Edmondson, a leading voice on psychological safety, explores similar ideas in her book Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well. Edmondson encourages leaders to rethink how organizations respond to mistakes and to recognize the potential for growth and discovery that can emerge from them.

Both perspectives resonate with me. I appreciate the wisdom behind them.

Yet the more I reflect on my own experiences, the more I arrive at a simple and honest truth.

Failure sucks.

Failure is painful. Failure can be debilitating. Failure drains energy and confidence. Failure often shows up when we step into bold and unfamiliar territory. It waits quietly beside us as we take risks, stumble, and fall short.

There is not enough honest conversation about the emotional toll of failure. Many leadership conversations focus on the research, the strategies, and the case studies. Those perspectives are important. At the same time, they often overlook the personal hurt that accompanies failure.

Leading while human requires that we acknowledge that pain.

I recently attempted to start a book study for colleagues. No one responded. That moment hurt more than I expected. I think about a conference session where only three people showed up. The room felt far too large for such a small audience. I delivered the session anyway, though the experience was both humbling and uncomfortable.

Moments like those stay with you.

Failure has a way of reaching into the deeper parts of our identity and purpose. It can leave us questioning our abilities and wondering whether we truly belong in the spaces where we serve.

I wish there were a simple antidote.

There are many inspiring stories about overcoming failure. I am curious about John Maxwell’s upcoming book How to Get a Return on Failure: Fail Smarter, Return Stronger. The title alone reflects an important mindset shift. Organizations must build cultures that offer grace, coaching, and support when people struggle or fall short. Many organizations do this well. Others do not. In some seasons of my career, authentic and humane support was inconsistent or absent.

Those seasons can feel incredibly lonely.

During this current liminal season of my life and leadership, I often revisit my own failures. Some moments invite reflection. Some invite reconsideration. Some even invite regret. Those reflections lead me to a deeper question.

How do we remain human centered leaders while staying true to our own humanity?

Perhaps the pain of failure is part of what makes us human. Perhaps the sting becomes the catalyst that pushes us toward growth and perseverance. Charlie Brown runs toward the football again and again, even though Lucy might pull it away at the last moment. He still runs forward with hope.

Leadership sometimes feels exactly like that moment.

Failure invites us to pivot. Failure invites us to step back and reflect. Failure invites us to rediscover the gifts that still live within us. Failure teaches us lessons we could not learn any other way.

Those lessons matter.

At the same time, honesty requires that we acknowledge a simple truth.

Failure still sucks.

Leaders cannot pretend that the pain does not exist. We must acknowledge the hurt. We must allow ourselves moments of reflection and even moments of sadness. We gather ourselves again, roll up our sleeves, and keep moving forward.

Our response to failure ultimately defines us far more than the failure itself.

That is the work.

That is the calling.

That is the gig.

Our response to failure ultimately defines us far more than the failure itself.
Leading while human means we acknowledge the pain, gather ourselves, and keep showing up anyway.

Not Everyone Who Starts With You Finishes With You

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Some connections are for a season.
They help us grow, reflect, and find our footing.
Then, sometimes, the paths quietly diverge.

I am learning that clarity around values can be both grounding and lonely.
It does not mean anger.
It does not mean judgment.
It simply means paying attention to what no longer fits.

I am choosing to keep moving toward what aligns with who I am becoming. I am choosing alignment over approval. I am choosing peace over proximity.
With gratitude for what was.
With honesty about what is.

Finding Your Voice in the Silence: A Leader’s Reflection

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Some mornings arrive heavier than others. You wake up carrying more than you expected, unsure where the weight came from, only knowing that it is there. In those moments, the quiet around your work, your words, and your efforts can feel louder than any criticism. This reflection comes from one of those mornings.

This blog post is a form of self-talk for me. It is equally written for anyone else who is struggling quietly right now.

Leadership can be deeply meaningful, but it can also be profoundly lonely. We are encouraged to share our thinking, our learning, and our growth. We are reminded that vulnerability builds trust and that authenticity matters. Still, there are times when we share something heartfelt. We direct it toward others or put it into the world with care, and nothing comes back. That absence can hurt in ways that are hard to explain.

I have learned that sometimes our ideas are not heard in our own backyard. That realization can sting, especially when the words came from a sincere and hopeful place. It is also why it is essential to find spaces and platforms where your voice can breathe. For me, that space is writing. It is blogging. It is podcasting. These are the places where I process, reflect, and continue learning out loud.

It is easy to fall into the trap of measuring impact by numbers. Views. Downloads. Likes. Shares. Over time, those metrics can quietly convince us that our work only matters if it reaches a certain volume. I am still unlearning that thinking. Today, I remind myself of something simple and grounding. If one person finds what they need in something I share, then the work has meaning. If one person feels seen or steadied for a moment, then the effort was worth it.

This reflection is a reminder to keep showing up anyway. It is an invitation to keep sharing your thoughts even when the response is uneven or delayed. It is a quiet act of trust in the belief that someone is listening, even when you cannot see them. The work of leadership is not about being the loudest voice in the room. It is about being a steady one.

I am writing this to remind myself that my voice still matters on the days when it feels unseen. I am also writing it for anyone else who needs permission to keep going without guarantees. The quiet does not mean you failed. Sometimes it simply means your words are traveling, settling, and finding their way to the right person at the right moment.

Hope does not always arrive with applause. Sometimes it shows up as resolve. Sometimes it shows up as consistency. Sometimes it shows up as choosing to center people over metrics and meaning over momentum.

For today, choosing to stay human in the work is enough.

The In-Between: Lessons from Neil Diamond’s “Gold”

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There are albums that arrive in your life right on time. There are also albums that feel as if they have been waiting for you all along.

Neil Diamond’s Gold is that kind of record for me.

It was recorded live at the Troubadour on Santa Monica Boulevard in July of 1970. Just about ten miles away, in Inglewood, I was two months old and brand new to the world. I did not know it then, but something meaningful was happening nearby. A voice was finding its footing. A performer was stepping into himself. A bridge was being built toward what would come next.

I did not discover Gold until my junior year of college. I found it in a used record store in Washington, D.C., sometime around 1990 or 1991. I remember taking it back to my dorm room. I lowered the needle and felt something familiar. It was something I could not yet name. Even then, it sounded like an album caught between chapters. Confident, yet searching. Grounded, yet reaching.

That feeling has only deepened with time.

Gold captures Neil Diamond in a liminal season. He was between record labels. He had experienced success in the 1960s, yet the full arc of his 1970s creative breakthrough had not fully arrived. This was not a greatest hits collection, even though the title suggests one. It was something far more human. It was a document of becoming.

The band matters here. Carol Hunter’s guitar work has a raw edge. It gives the music a sense of forward motion. Her style was shaped by time alongside artists like Bob Dylan. Eddie Rubin’s drumming, informed by deep jazz roots and work with artists like Billie Holiday, brings both restraint and release. Randy Sterling’s bass provides an anchor that allows everything else to breathe. This was a group capable of listening, responding, and taking risks in real time. That truth is audible.

Then there is “Lordy.”

That song feels like a door being pushed open. Gospel-inflected. Theatrical. Unfiltered. It hints at the ambition that would soon fully emerge on Tap Root Manuscript. On this album, “Cracklin’ Rosie” would become Neil Diamond’s first number-one hit. “The African Trilogy” placed on Side 2 of that album would expand his songwriting into something expansive and cinematic. “Lordy” is not the destination. “Lordy” is the signal.

This is why Gold resonates so deeply with me right now.

I find myself in my own in-between season. Years of experience remain present. Familiar structures are loosening their grip. Listening has become more important than certainty. This album reminds me that the middle matters. The bridge is not wasted time. Confidence is often built quietly in rooms that do not yet resemble arenas.

My connection to Gold also brings to mind the film Song Sung Blue. I love that movie deeply. The film is based on the real life story of Mike and Claire Sardina, who form a Neil Diamond tribute band known as Lightning & Thunder. Watching the two main characters played by Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson is profoundly life-affirming. They challenge the impossible until it becomes possible. The film honors persistence, hope, and belief without irony. It treats becoming with dignity. The music performances are truly “so good, so good!”

That same spirit lives inside Gold.

This record honors the becoming.

This post accompanies the latest episode of #LeadershipLinerNotes. In it, I share more about this album and the Troubadour. I explain why this particular season of my life feels so closely tied to it. You can listen to the podcast version here:
Spotify/Megaphone:

YouTube

Apple Podcasts

I would love to know what your Gold has been. Was there an album, moment, or season that met you in the middle? Did it quietly remind you that something meaningful was still unfolding? Please share in the comments. I would love to hear from you.

Sometimes the gold is not found at the beginning.
Sometimes the gold is not waiting at the end.
Sometimes the gold lives right in the in-between.

Still Learning: “People Come First” by Lauren Kaufman

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Some blog posts arrive quietly.
Others land with weight and warmth.

When Lauren Kaufman’s latest post, People Come First, landed in my inbox, I paused before opening it. Not out of hesitation, but out of trust. I knew, just as I always do, that I would walk away feeling enriched. I would feel inspired. I would be nudged to be better in my own practice after reading her words.

That has been the gift of being a long time reader of Lauren’s work. It has also been the gift of friendship and thought partnership with Lauren.

You can read Lauren’s post here:
https://laurenmkaufman.com/2026/01/07/people-come-first/

Why This Post Is Worth Your Time

Lauren Kaufman is a district leader, a disciplined weekly blogger, and the author of the inspiring book The Leader Inside. She is also someone who writes from lived experience, not from a pedestal. Her posts are never about performance. They are about presence.

Her blog consistently shows up with clarity and heart. When her writing lands in my inbox, I know I will be enriched, inspired, and motivated. Lauren has a way of making her words resonate so deeply that you want to do better and be better.

In People Come First, she reflects on a poignant exchange with another human being. The moment is simple on the surface, yet profound in its implications. The post does not rush toward resolution. It does not offer a checklist or a framework. It invites the reader to slow down and sit with what it truly means to show up for someone else.

That restraint is precisely what makes it powerful.

Here’s the Core of What It Shows

At its heart, this post is about listening. Not listening as a leadership move or a strategic tool, but listening as an act of humanity.

As I continue to delve deeper into human-centered leadership, Lauren’s words echoed something I have been reflecting on myself. Sincere and deep listening is not an accessory to leadership. It is an entry point.

To listen well is to communicate worth.
To listen deeply is to make space.
To listen without fixing is to honor someone’s story.

Lauren reminds us that people do not need us to be impressive. They need us to be present.

What This Stirred in Me

Reading this post led me to reflect on how often leadership culture rewards speed over stillness. We are praised for having answers, for moving quickly, and for resolving things efficiently.

The leaders who have shaped me most were the ones who slowed the moment down. They listened without interruption. They stayed curious. They did not rush me toward clarity before I was ready. Lauren is one of those leaders for me and so many others.

Lauren’s post reinforced a truth I am still learning. Human centered leadership begins long before we speak. It begins in how we listen.

A Thought Partnership That Matters

Lauren is also my most frequent guest on my podcast, Leadership Liner Notes, and the unofficial executive producer of the show. Our conversations consistently ground me and stretch my thinking.

One of our most recent episodes was a co-hosted conversation celebrating and amplifying the work of Elizabeth Dampf, author of Am I Cut Out for This?. The episode explored self doubt, courage, and staying rooted in purpose.

You can listen to that episode here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/am-i-cut-out-for-this-featuring-elizabeth-dampf-and/id1438352351?i=1000722226286

A Question I’m Sitting With

What would change in our schools, our teams, and our systems if we treated listening not as a courtesy, but as a commitment?

This is why I remain a proud and engaged subscriber to Lauren’s blog. Her words do not shout. They resonate.

Today, I am still learning.

Still Learning: Coffee and Creating Third Spaces

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“Starbucks CEO Announces A Huge Change to Win Back Customers”- https://www.inc.com/leila-sheridan/starbucks-ceo-announces-a-huge-change-to-win-back-customers/91284147

Why This Article Is Worth Your Time

This “Inc. Magazine” piece goes beyond business strategy and gets at something deeper: the human need for connection. The idea of the third place reminds us that people are not looking for more transactions. They are looking for places and cultures where they feel seen, welcomed, and able to belong.

That idea matters far beyond coffee shops. I do appreciate the intentionality Starbucks is doing to create a meaningful and human-centered experience for their customers.

Here’s the Core of What It Shows

When organizations intentionally design spaces that invite people to slow down, connect, and stay awhile, trust and loyalty follow. The article reinforces that strong leadership is not about efficiency alone. It is about creating environments where relationships can take root and people feel grounded.

That is the heart of human centered leadership.

Why This Connects to My Work

This concept echoes the work I collaborated on with Dr. Andrea Trudeau during our ISTE+ASCD Webinar Series and poster session at the ISTE+ASCD Conference in San Antonio. It also aligns closely with the conversations Dr. Sonia Matthew and I are exploring in an upcoming podcast series focused on human centered leadership.

Whether in schools, organizations, or communities, leaders shape the culture by shaping the spaces people experience every day.

Bottom Line

Leadership is not just what we measure or manage. It is what we build for people to gather, connect, and belong. This article is a timely reminder that presence still matters and so does place.

🔗 https://www.inc.com/leila-sheridan/starbucks-ceo-announces-a-huge-change-to-win-back-customers/91284147

Let me know your thoughts and learning on this article. You are invited to the conversation as we are all #StillLearning.

Still Learning: Lessons from Inc. Magazine

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I just read this great leadership article in Inc. Magazine. I’m really impressed because it looks at leadership in ways that feel fresh. These perspectives are relevant outside of the typical education leadership lens.

As someone who is an unabashed geek and reader, I am committed as a leader to enlarging my learning. I want to use this blog platform to share my learning. It will also hold me accountable to consistent growth as a leader. You are invited to join on this journey with me. I hope you’ll get a lot out of it, too:
👉 https://bit.ly/3L05k7h

Why it’s worth your time:

The piece highlights that the best leaders don’t just manage. They behave differently. Their actions build trust, enhance performance, and create real connections with their teams. These aren’t complicated tricks or buzzwords they’re simple behaviors that most leaders actually skip.

Here’s the core of what it shows:

• Great leaders model servant leadership. They put people first focus on clarity and support and prioritize team success over ego.
• These actions build trust and performance not just productivity.
• The article comes from Marcel Schwantes a seasoned leadership coach and Inc. contributing editor so the ideas are practical and grounded in real world experience.

I always appreciate the learning from Inc. Magazine especially when it intersects with leadership in ways that resonate outside traditional education circles.

Let me know what stood out to you most.

Rediscovering the Heart of Leadership: A Call for a Human Centered Renaissance

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The other day, I had the privilege of speaking with a former superintendent from the early days of my principalship in Winston-Salem. It was one of those conversations that stays with you long after it ends. I felt deeply grateful for her wisdom, for the lessons she shared years ago, and for the way she continues to lead with humility and care.

At one point, our conversation turned to belonging. We did not speak of it as a buzzword or a program. We spoke of it as a fundamental human need in schools and in leadership. That moment mattered. It affirmed something that has been awakening in me over the past year and a half, a journey that began after my heart episode and has been deepened through therapy, reflection, and honest reckoning with myself. That conversation did not begin this journey, but it reignited it. It reminded me that leadership, at its best, is rooted in humanity.

That conversation also made something painfully clear.

The leadership we are currently celebrating in too many spaces is missing the mark.

Many systems have become overly reliant on noise, metrics, programs, and performance. Visibility is often mistaken for value. Activity is often mistaken for impact. Standing on tables, creating a staged video, or chasing what is trending is frequently confused with leadership. In the process, we are losing sight of what actually sustains schools and the people inside them.

A line from Dr. Donya Ball has been echoing in my mind ever since that conversation: “One of the biggest leadership turn offs is the leader who chases public recognition instead of private excellence.”

That distinction matters now more than ever.

Private excellence is where real leadership lives. It lives in quiet conversations. It lives in trust built over time. It lives in making people feel seen, heard, and valued when no one is watching. That is where belonging is cultivated, not performed. I am grateful for the inspiring words and thought partnership of Dr. Donya Ball. She is definitely a worthwhile addition to any Professional Learning Network.

Greater care is also required in choosing the voices we amplify. Many voices offer quick solutions and so-called fixes to deeply complex problems of practice. Some of those voices have not been in a classroom or schoolhouse doing the work in years. Others sell packaged answers designed more for self promotion than service. Discernment matters, because what we consume shapes what we believe leadership is supposed to look like.

There are sincere voices doing this work with integrity. These are leaders who stay close to schools, who listen more than they sell, and who center belonging over branding. That sincerity feels harder to find than it once was, which makes intentional discernment even more important.

The voices worth seeking are those that foster belonging, courage, and empowerment. They honor the complexity of schools. They understand that innovation does not come in a package and that transformation cannot be rushed.

This moment calls for a return to something more human. It calls for leadership that is analog in spirit and rooted in connection rather than consumption.

I often think about The Beatles performing Hey Jude on the David Frost Show in 1968. As the song reached its closing chorus, the band invited a diverse group of audience members to gather around them. Everyone sang together. There was no hierarchy in that moment and no spotlight chasing. There was shared humanity in action. Everyone had a place in the song.

That image offers a powerful metaphor for the leadership we need now.

Belonging is not an accessory to leadership. Belonging is the entry point. It is the foundation that allows people to take risks, grow, and contribute their gifts. My father used to say, “Everybody starts, everybody plays.” That belief has never felt more urgent.

Schools are facing real challenges. Budgets are shrinking. Demands are increasing. Pipelines into teaching and leadership are fragile. Burnout is widespread and cannot be resolved through another initiative or an unfunded mandate. This is not the moment to double down on outdated leadership playbooks.

There is still reason for hope. Educators continue to make a profound difference in the lives of others. This moment invites leaders to pause and reflect. It encourages them to reimagine how school communities are served in ways that are sustainable, affirming, and deeply human. We need to change the conversation on what it means to lead in schools. We must invite everyone to the table for this much-needed crucial conversation.

A few places offer meaningful starting points:

-Leaders can create intentional space for reflection in daily practice. They should treat it as a priority rather than an add on.
-Leaders can commit to real conversations that center around listening and learning.
-Leaders can commit to building belonging first, knowing everything else grows from that foundation.

School leadership is overdue for a renaissance. That renaissance must be rooted in presence, humility, and courage. When leaders dare to lead from the heart and make belonging the work, leadership can once again be reclaimed as a human act rather than a spectacle.

Author’s Note

This piece was written as an invitation rather than an indictment. It reflects a personal and professional awakening shaped by lived experience, reflection, and honest conversations about what leadership demands in this moment. The hope is that it encourages thoughtful pause, renewed discernment, and a recommitment to leadership grounded in humanity.