I have been thinking a great deal about noticing lately.

My current morning reading is The Power of Mattering by Zach Mercurio, and one chapter in particular has stayed with me. The chapter explores noticing as the first step toward helping people feel they matter. That idea has lingered with me long after I closed the book.

Two recent experiences reinforced that lesson. Both of them occurred in close proximity to each other and I believe the timing of the impact is of significance. Recently, I have been recalibrating my approach and taking proactive steps to reach out to others. I have been in the occasional doldrums of wondering why the phone wasn’t ringing for me or why my shoulder wasn’t being tapped for invitations. I decided to just simply outreach and share.

In each instance, I reached out to someone. In each instance, my outreach was met with silence. Neither situation was catastrophic. Neither involved ill intent, at least as far as I know. Both, however, reminded me of something deeply human. We notice when we are not noticed. It can sting and it does leave a mark.

That realization could have easily led me toward disappointment or resentment. Instead, it led me toward reflection. I decided to flip my own paradigm of giving into the weight of those doldrums. I stepped back and took a pause to reflect.

As I looked inward, I reflected on the times that I may have missed noticing someone else. I thought about the times that I failed to really see someone. How often have I unintentionally done the same thing to someone else?

Leadership has taught me many lessons over the years, but this one reaches beyond leadership. Every one of us wants to know that our presence matters. Every one of us wants to know that someone saw us, heard us, and cared enough to respond. We crave to be valued and validated. Those connections sustain and inspire. We feel connection and belonging with others. Human connection is universal and is an essential component for our well-being.

Noticing is never just about acknowledgement. It is about communicating, “I see you. You matter.”

The opposite carries weight as well. Silence often says more than we intend.

My recent experiences became unexpected gifts. They reminded me to respond. They reminded me to follow up. They reminded me that connection rarely happens by accident. It happens because someone makes the intentional choice to notice another person.

The more I read Mercurio’s work, the more I believe that noticing is not simply a leadership competency. It is a human practice. Leaders certainly need it, but so do neighbors, friends, colleagues, spouses, teachers, and strangers.

Recently, I have also been immersed in the music of the Bill Evans Trio. Listening closely to those recordings reveals something remarkable. Three musicians are not simply playing at the same time. They are listening to one another. Every phrase is met with another phrase. Every musical idea is acknowledged, expanded, or gently redirected. Space is given. Responses matter. The music exists because each musician notices the others.

Leadership works much the same way.

Organizations become healthier when people feel noticed. Relationships deepen when people feel heard. Cultures of mattering begin with small moments of intentional attention.

Noticing is the first note.

Connection is the melody.

Mattering is what people remember long after the conversation ends.

Here’s to continuing the conversation.

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Want to Continue the Conversation?

I am available to serve as a thought partner, speaker, and leadership coach for individuals, teams, and organizations seeking to build more human centered cultures. My work focuses on helping leaders create spaces where people feel seen, valued, supported, and empowered to succeed.

I would be honored to connect, listen, and explore how we might work together. Please feel free to drop me a line at sgaillard84@gmail.com and check out the links below here:

Sean Gaillard
Founder & CEO | The Gaillard Group
Author • Speaker • Leadership Coach

Helping People and Organizations Succeed

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