Stillness Is the Song: Leadership Lessons from the Waiting

“The waiting is the hardest part.”-Tom Petty (1981)


As I continue my sojourn in Maine, I gaze upon the lake on another cool summer morning. A warm cup of coffee is my company along with the occasional sparkles smiling at me on the water and a lone loon swimming alongside this morning reverie in the distance.

There’s a certain kind of silence that settles in when your waiting. It’s not always peaceful. It’s filled with hope, doubt, questions, and whispers of “what if.” That’s where I have been reflecting upon lately. There is an art to waiting that leaders must take hold of and learn to appreciate. Many look to us as a lamppost on a dark, foggy night. It is important that we make that the light we carry within, our leadership core, is intact, balanced, and focused.


The Struggle of Waiting

It is important to acknowledge the truth. Waiting is frustrating. It is excruciating into its life span and sometimes I allow negative moments to roam rent free in my head. I try to cope with waiting by cueing up familiar songs to carry me through the anxiety of waiting: “The Waiting” by Tom Petty, “Tired of Waiting for You” by The Kinks, or “I Am Waiting” by The Rolling Stones (a great deep cut by them from my favorite album of theirs, “Aftermath.”) Speaking of the Stones, I even imagine myself in their classic “Waiting on a Friend” video hanging out on the stoop with Mick Jagger looking for Keith Richards. Yet, the bottom line remains for me that waiting is just plain hard.

As leaders, we are wired to take action, make moves, plan next steps. We calculate, strategize, and analyze. There is urgency in the air that needs our focus and we called to act. The clock is ticking, people need decisions, and our vision and mission to serve our school community must be maintain momentum.

Sometimes the most important growth most important growth happens when nothing appears to be happening. For leaders, waiting can feel like failure. It can compel us to embrace the abysmal and tune into second-guesses and should haves. But in this stillness, I’m learning that not moving doesn’t mean not growing.

Waiting is an opportunity.


A Leadership Riff in the Shadows: George’s Quiet Resilience

George Harrison waited. He always did. Whether it was waiting for his guitar solo cue during the early days of The Beatles or waiting for spiritual enlightenment during his pursuit of Transcendental Meditation, George simply waited. He endured a long journey to have his voice and songs recognized within The Beatles. He waited in the shadow of the successful and thriving shadow of the Lennon-McCartney songwriting partnership for years. He watched song after song of his get passed over. But instead of giving up and surrendering to doubt, he kept writing. Occasionally, a song would be accepted and many of his songs in The Beatles still resonate today like “Something,” “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” and “Here Comes The Sun.”

When the time finally came, George Harrison released the epic-three album, “All Things Must Pass.” This was an album of such depth, resonance, and majesty that it proved to the waiting wasn’t a waste; rather, it was a gathering. That gathering included an all-star line up musicians ranging from former bandmate, Ringo Starr, to Eric Clapton, Klaus Voorman, and all members of Badfinger. Phil Spector co-produced and served the album up with the Wall of Sound. It was filled with songs that The Beatles had rejected and hits that still spin today like “My Sweet Lord” and “What Is Life.”

George Harrison proved that waiting does not have to yield in an abrupt ending. Waiting can compel something beautiful to happen.


Leadership Wait Time

Waiting is a leadership discipline. It can take years to cultivate and nuance for one’s own leadership practice. Waiting teaches us patience, humility, faith, and emotional agility. In the classroom, teachers use “wait time” as a move to create space for students to pause, think, and reflect. It is an intentional pause that is meant to create belonging for students who may feel bashful at responding or to set the stage for a teachable moment to resonate within the classroom.

Leaders have wait time, too. The waiting room is where character gets built. It’s where we learn to lead without control, to listen instead of speak, to reflect instead of react.

As leaders, we have to cultivate space for waiting to ignite reflection. We have to give permission for ourselves to roam into that space to discover new things within ourselves and the people we serve.

This is not always easy and it can be ponderous. I reflect upon the moments of when I am challenged to wait as a leader and as an individual. Within the frustration of the moments of endless waiting, I have sometimes missed those opportunities for reflection and positivity. It’s easy to default to damning doubts and shifting the blame to some universe conspiring against me. Waiting does not have to be negative. We have to shift the paradigm on waiting to something akin to opportunity.

Brene Brown expressed this best for leaders, “Patience is not about waiting. It’s about how we behave while we’re waiting.” This is where we must be very cognizant of how we respond and move during our leadership wait time. We model the expectations and set the tone in our moves. Many look us to be that solid beacon of calm during any level of wait time and it’s important that we lead with grace, poise, and purpose during a leadership wait time.

Waiting can be a pressure cooker for leaders, but it’s important to maintain our core during those ponderous wait times.

There may have been pressure to fill a vacancy quickly whether it was for a teacher, assistant principal, or support staff member. But instead of rushing, you held out for the right fit. You waited, trusted your instincts, and stayed aligned with your school’s mission and values. And when that person arrived, it was clear they were the one. They didn’t just fill a role; they elevated the culture, built trust, and made a lasting impact on students and staff.

That moment, that hire validated the wait. The right choice often takes time.


A Quiet Riff to Carry Forward

Waiting is not weakness. It’s part of the journey. The silence we endure on a decision to be made or an action to occur is not empty. The silence may be an opportunity for you to compose a new song you don’t yet hear. I think of a time during my first principalship when our school was waiting for the outcome of our magnet grant application. The waiting was far-reaching and I remember checking my inbox every day several minutes at a time. This lasted for months and it was not pleasant. The waiting period did bring the faculty closer together as we shared this collective anticipation.

Looking back, it was the waiting that not only bonded us but it helped us persevere when we found out that we didn’t get the grant. The community that was forged during this period lead our school to being the first in the district to successfully implement a non-funded magnet. We had a positive impact on kids and achievement due to the community that was forged during the waiting game.

The truth is, we don’t always get to fast-forward through uncertainty. But we do get to keep showing up with grace, grit, and belief. You can use waiting as an opportunity to model resilience, reflection, and connection with others. And that’s the kind of leadership I want to grow in, one quiet step at a time.


    Three Action Steps to Make Waiting More Meaningful for Your Leadership

    1. Seek Out Thought Partners

    Waiting doesn’t have to be lonely. Use the pause to deepen your leadership bench. Reach out to a mentor, a colleague, or someone who inspires you. Take a spin within your Professional Learning Network (PLN) to seek those people out who can inspire and support you. Share your thoughts and listen to theirs. Thought partnership sharpens perspective, calms uncertainty, and reminds you that you’re not navigating the unknown alone. Collaboration during the waiting season often leads to renewed clarity and creative momentum.


    2. Study Leadership Riffs from History

    Waiting has shaped some of the most significant leaders and movements in history. Lincoln waited through agonizing losses before the tide turned. Mandela waited in a prison cell for 27 years before transforming a nation. Singer-songwriter Carole King waited years to emerge as a solo artist and record her multi-platinum selling masterpiece, Tapestry. Even The Beatles waited through setbacks and missteps before crafting Sgt. Pepper. Explore these stories not just for inspiration, but as evidence that purpose-driven delay can lead to extraordinary outcomes.


    3. Use the Quiet to Bring Your People Closer

    While the external outcome is pending, focus inward. Use this time to connect more deeply with your team. Hold space for listening. Celebrate small wins. Reaffirm your shared mission. Leadership isn’t just about making decisions, it’s about fostering belonging. Waiting offers a powerful window to strengthen community, build trust, and ensure your team feels seen and valued.

    The Power of the Pause:

    3 Reflection Tips for School Leaders

    It’s loud at the end of the school year.

    There are checklists to check off. Boxes to move. Emails to answer. Meetings to attend. Conversations to wrap. It can feel like you’re racing a clock with no hands—just noise, motion, and that persistent push toward “done.” As school leaders, we often wear this urgency like a badge of honor. But somewhere in the frenzy, we lose sight of something vital:

    The pause.

    The other day, our custodian was out, and I had to stay late to close the building. Alone. I walked the halls, locking doors and preparing to set the alarm. The building was still. No laughter echoing down the halls. No rush of students heading to the buses. Just me and the walls that had witnessed a school year’s worth of highs, lows, pivots, and quiet victories.

    That simple rhythm—step, door, lock, breathe—became something sacred. I wasn’t just closing a building. I was closing a chapter. In that silence, the year spoke back to me. I remembered the breakthroughs. The bruises. The bounce-backs. The beauty of what we had built together.

    And I realized something all over again: reflection is not a luxury. It’s a necessity.

    Since my heart episode last year—a moment that forced me to recharge not just physically, but mentally and spiritually—I’ve come to believe even more deeply in the power of pause. I spent too many years avoiding it. Confusing the speed of leadership with the strength of leadership. I mistook checklists for vision. And it nearly broke me.

    Innovation doesn’t come from being in constant motion. It comes from being still enough to listen to what the year has been teaching us all along.

    So I offer this, not just as a fellow school leader, but as someone who had to learn the hard way: Make reflection part of your leadership practice. Not later. Now.

    Here are three ways I’m leaning into reflection, even in the middle of the end-of-year mania:

    🎧 1. Schedule 15 Minutes of Stillness

    Block out 15 minutes this week—no email, no meetings, no phone. Find a quiet corner of your school. Sit. Breathe. Let the silence remind you of your why.

    📝 2. Journal with Three Prompts

    What am I most proud of this year? What did I learn from my staff? What will I do differently next year? Keep it short. Keep it honest. But write it down. Let your words catch up with your heart.

    🚶‍♂️ 3. Take a Solo Walk Through the Building

    No agenda. No checklist. Just walk. Let the sights, sounds, and stillness speak to you. Every poster, every student project, every empty seat is a story. These are the artifacts of your leadership.

    If you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed or alone, know this: you’re not. I’m walking this with you. And if you need a thought partner or a word of encouragement, I’m here.

    Leadership is lonely—but it doesn’t have to be isolating. Especially when we choose to pause, reflect, and lead with presence.

    The noise will pass. The moment won’t.

    Make space for it.

    The Applause We Don’t Hear

    The Applause We Don’t Hear

    #PrincipalLinerNotes

    There are moments in leadership—more than we care to admit—when it feels like leadership isn’t there for you.

    You stand in a room and no one greets you. No one looks up. No one notices.

    You offer ideas, vision, care—and it’s met with silence, or worse, indifference.

    You give your best self and sometimes receive no acknowledgment in return.

    The gig is tough. The gig is lonely. The gig will ask you to keep showing up, especially when the room grows quiet. And sometimes, it stays quiet.

    And yet—we still walk in.

    Why?

    Because we’re human.

    Because we crave meaning.

    Because we want to belong just like anyone else.

    I carry what my father taught me in these moments: Hold your head high. Even when no one seems to see you. Especially then.

    And so, I look for the small things.

    The fleeting glances. The quiet nods. The invisible applause.

    Those moments when you know—deep in your gut—that you’re still in the groove.

    I remember those moments when I played in bands. We’d be deep into a tune, and someone across the band space would catch my eye and offer a knowing smile. Just a look. A small moment that said, We’ve got this.

    There’s a video I love of the Dave Brubeck Quartet performing Take Five. During Joe Morello’s legendary drum solo, Brubeck stops playing. He turns from the piano—not to take center stage, but to watch. To admire. To honor. No words. Just presence.

    The Beatles did it, too. During that final rooftop concert, even amid the tension, they stole glances. Smiles. They saw each other. And they saw Billy Preston, too—playing keys right alongside them, lifting the sound, lifting the moment.

    Even as the world watched from the streets below, the real audience wasn’t the crowd down there—it was amidst the band.

    That’s what keeps me going in leadership—the small, true things.

    A student’s unexpected smile.

    A teacher’s thank-you whispered in the hallway.

    A quiet moment where someone sees you—and maybe, just maybe, you see them too.

    We may not always receive the applause. But we can give it.

    We can be the nod.

    We can be the smile.

    We can be the Dave Brubeck who turns his head in full admiration.

    We can be the Beatle who shares a grin in the middle of the chaos.

    Those small moves? They matter.

    They are leadership.

    And when the room is quiet—lead anyway.

    You never know who might be listening for your cue.

    A Leadership Riff for You

    Here’s a thought to share from my reflection and writing this morning.

    I hope you know that your sound matters and any band is lucky to have you. I sure do believe in you. Thanks for being in the band!

    The Heart of Leadership: Humility and Belonging

    Earlier this week, our country lost a remarkable leader in former President Jimmy Carter. The tributes that followed didn’t focus on grand speeches or flashy displays of power. Instead, they celebrated Carter’s unwavering faith, his steadfast dedication to community, and his lifelong commitment to making the world a better place for others. His leadership wasn’t about being the center of attention or staging photo-ops; it was about rolling up his sleeves and humbly serving those around him.

    As educators, we must ask ourselves: What kind of leaders are we striving to be? Are we chasing the spotlight or building the light in others? For too long, I’ve seen school leaders drawn to performative leadership—the standing on tables, the viral stunts, the costumes designed for “likes” rather than lasting impact. While these acts may entertain for a moment, they often fail to empower others or build the foundation of belonging that our students, teachers, and families need.

    Leadership isn’t about gimmicks or self-promotion. True leadership lies in tuning into the gifts of others and encouraging them to follow their unique paths. It’s about listening more than speaking, serving more than being served, and building a culture where everyone feels valued, seen, and capable of greatness.

    Jimmy Carter once said, “We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles.” His words remind us that the principles of humility, service, and community are timeless in leadership. Humble leadership is a quiet force that lifts others without fanfare. It builds cultures of belonging, not through stunts, but through consistency, care, and compassion.

    For many years, my father instilled in me the idea that greatness comes not from being on a stage but from being in service to others. He taught me to dare to be great by encouraging others to step off the sidelines and into their potential. As leaders, it’s our calling to help others “kick off the bench” and take those daring steps toward their own greatness.

    Four Leadership Moves to Build a Culture of Belonging with Humility

    1. Listen With Purpose

    Create opportunities to listen to the voices of students, teachers, and families. Regularly ask, “What do you need?” or “How can I support you?” and act on what you hear. Listening isn’t just hearing—it’s responding with action and intention.

    2. Celebrate Others’ Gifts

    Leadership isn’t about being the hero of every story. Shine the spotlight on your team. Recognize the unique talents and achievements of those you serve. Build platforms where others can share their brilliance.

    3. Serve Quietly and Consistently

    Leadership is often found in the small, unseen moments. Show up early to greet students. Pitch in during tough times without announcing it. Let your actions speak louder than your words.

    4. Model Humility in Every Interaction

    Humility isn’t weakness; it’s strength in understanding that leadership is about others, not ourselves. Admit mistakes, ask for feedback, and be willing to learn alongside your team.

    Let us step away from the noise of performative leadership and into the quiet power of service. Leadership isn’t standing on a table or staging antics that distract from our core mission. It’s about humbly helping others discover their greatness.

    As I reflect on Jimmy Carter’s legacy and the lessons my father taught me, I’m reminded of the simple truth: Leadership is not about being in the spotlight—it’s about igniting the light in others. Dare to be great by building a culture where everyone belongs and is empowered to lead.

    Let’s get to work, sleeves rolled up, hearts full of humility, and hands ready to serve.

    Beat Support Revisited: Leadership in Rhythm

    Leadership can feel like navigating the swirling chaos of a live performance—where the screams of the crowd threaten to drown out your rhythm. As school leaders, it’s easy to get lost in the noise, but it’s in these moments that we must tune into those around us. The people we lead and serve are our rhythm section, and finding the right “beat support” can make all the difference.

    I’ve been reflecting on this idea recently, inspired by a moment I once shared on my podcast, #PrincipalLinerNotes. Years ago, during one of my “Impromptu Carpool Episodes,” I recorded an off-the-cuff reflection about a clip of The Beatles performing “I Feel Fine” live. Amidst the chaos of Beatlemania—where stage monitors were nonexistent and screaming fans drowned out everything—Paul McCartney stepped in with a move of pure leadership. During Ringo Starr’s incredible drum break, Paul gave a quick cue, counting Ringo back in and ensuring he nailed his return to the beat.

    That moment wasn’t just about music; it was a masterclass in leadership. It demonstrated the importance of being attuned to your team, providing support when they need it, and ensuring that everyone finds their rhythm.

    The Rhythm of Belonging

    I explored this connection between The Beatles, leadership, and education in my book, The Pepper Effect. In it, I share lessons from the Fab Four that remind us of the power of collaboration, creativity, and connection. (You can check out the book here! The Pepper Effect on Amazon).

    One of the most important lessons from both The Beatles and leadership is the role of belonging. As leaders, we need to provide the cues and support that allow our team to thrive. Whether it’s a trusted teacher who serves as your barometer or the intentional moments where you help others find their groove, belonging starts with building connections.

    Four Ways Leaders Can Build Beat Support

    Here are four actionable ways leaders can create their own “beat support” and foster belonging:

    1. Find Your Barometer

    Identify someone you trust—someone who will be honest with you—and use them as a gauge to understand how your decisions and words land with your team.

    2. Be a Barometer for Others

    Provide clear and supportive cues for your team. Let them know where they stand and help them feel confident in their role.

    3. Celebrate Strengths

    Like Paul recognizing Ringo’s brilliance, tune into the unique gifts of your team members and amplify their contributions.

    4. Create Collaborative Spaces

    Build opportunities for your team to share ideas, support each other, and work toward common goals. Belonging grows in the spaces where collaboration thrives.

    What’s Next: Why The Beatles Matter

    This reflection on leadership, belonging, and The Beatles has inspired me to launch a new podcast called “Why The Beatles Matter,”starting December 12. This podcast will explore the lasting impact of The Beatles and their legacy through conversations with people whose lives have been shaped by their music and message.

    I’m looking for future guests to share their stories of how The Beatles inspired them. If you’d like to join me on this journey, email me at sgaillard84@gmail.com. Spaces are filling up fast.

    The Value of Embracing Square One

    Simplicity in Jazz:

    In 1969, during the recording of his groundbreaking album In a Silent Way, Miles Davis famously told guitarist John McLaughlin to “play the guitar like you’re picking it up for the first time.” McLaughlin, renowned for his complex, intricate solos, was likely perplexed by this direction. Jazz, after all, is a swirl of notes, harmonies, and complexities—a musical enigma. But Miles was after something else, something new. He envisioned a sound that was simple yet profound, stripped down to its core. He wanted his band to create a fresh ambience, to tap into a deeper, purer musical experience.

    This wasn’t just any jazz album. It was a collaborative effort with musicians who, for many of them, were playing together for the first time. Miles led them to embrace simplicity, allowing space for discovery. The result? An album that, decades later, still influences and inspires musicians worldwide. It stands as a testament to the power of stepping into something new with fresh eyes and an open heart.

    Back to School:

    For school leaders, the phrase “Back to School” stirs a similar mix of emotions: joy, anticipation, maybe even a little fear. It’s the beginning of something new, a reset button. For some, this is a welcome opportunity; for others, it can be daunting, especially for those stepping into a new school or leadership role. But there’s immense value in embracing these new beginnings, or what I call “Square One.”

    Square One offers the chance to rewrite, renew, and refocus. Whether you’re a brand-new principal or a seasoned leader in a new building, starting over can feel like walking into a conversation where everyone else is already laughing at an inside joke. You may not yet be in on it, but there’s an opportunity to listen, connect, and contribute. Building trust, creating relationships, and setting the tone for a collaborative culture takes time and effort—but it’s well worth it.

    As a turnaround principal, I’ve lived through this over and over. Every school, every new beginning, felt like standing at the edge of something vast and uncertain. But I’ve learned that there’s beauty in Square One. It’s where connection is made, where trust is earned, and where growth is inevitable if you lean into the discomfort.

    Embracing Square One:

    I used to dread the awkwardness of starting fresh. It felt like a weird dance where I would stumble more than glide. But with time, I realized that Square One isn’t something to fear. It’s a unique opportunity. In Square One, you get to build from the ground up, to create a vision, and invite others to join in shaping something beautiful for your school community. This is where you can set the stage for a culture of psychological safety, where teachers and staff feel seen, heard, and valued.

    As leaders, we can choose to embrace Square One not as a setback, but as a launchpad. We get to set the tone for our schools, encouraging collaboration and creativity in ways that may not have been possible before. When we invite others to see their strengths, both tapped and untapped, we unleash the power of collective potential. It’s like that band Miles Davis assembled for In a Silent Way—everyone playing together for the first time, discovering new possibilities.

    Leadership Moves to Embrace Square One:

    1. Assess the Current Reality: Work with a coach, mentor, or thought partner to clearly identify where your Square One stands. What are the challenges, and where are the opportunities?
    2. Connect with Your Community: Engage with your staff, students, and families. Share the vision for this new beginning and the path forward. Build excitement around what’s possible.
    3. Create a Roadmap: Develop a timeline with actionable next steps. Break down your vision into tangible goals. This will give you and your team a clear sense of direction.
    4. Reflect Regularly: Take time each day to journal and reflect on the progress being made. These reflections will guide future decisions and help keep you grounded in your purpose.
    5. Celebrate Wins: Don’t wait for the big milestones. Celebrate small wins along the way, and do it publicly. Acknowledging progress builds momentum and fosters a positive culture.

    Conclusion:

    Just as Miles Davis sought a deeper sound by stripping away the complexity, we, as school leaders, can find clarity and strength in the simplicity of Square One. Embracing the beginning allows us to reset, reimagine, and reframe the possibilities for our school communities. As we step into new roles or new school years, let’s lead with intention, vulnerability, and an openness to collaboration. The beauty of Square One lies not in its uncertainty, but in its promise. Like Miles and his band on In a Silent Way, we have the opportunity to create something timeless by being fully present in the moment.

    Listen to Miles Davis’ In a Silent Way here.

    New Podcast Episode of #PrincipalLinerNotes

    Tune in for the latest episode of “The Principal Liner Notes Podcast” featuring Alyssa Gallagher. Alyssa is a leadership coach with BTS Spark( https://btsspark.org/en-us). She recently co-authored the book, “Embracing MESSY Leadership: How 20,000 School Leaders Can Transform You and Your School.” You can learn more about her book here: https://btsspark.org/en-us/messyleadership.

    I loved our connected conversation on the podcast. You can access it on Spotify Podcasts linked here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sean-gaillard/episodes/Connected-Conversation-with-Alyssa-Gallagher-e2kc143 on YouTube in the link below: