The Bear

Polishing Forks, Painting Ladders: Why Little Moments of Respect Matter

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A Collaborative Blog Post by Meghan Lawson & Sean Gaillard

Sean:

This post is a follow-up to our recent collaboration on Season 4 of The Bear. Meghan Lawson and I had such a great time thought-partnering and exploring leadership through the lens of this compelling show that we knew we had to keep the conversation going. When a story grabs your heart and your mind in equal measure, you follow it. For us, The Bear does just that.

We both love this show. We find ourselves returning to its characters, their struggles, their growth, and the environments they navigate because there are so many leadership lessons embedded in their journeys. These are not neat, polished takeaways. These are messy, raw, and very real moments that mirror the work we do in schools and systems every day.

One of the most moving scenes from Season Two is found in Episode Seven, “Forks.” It’s a moment where Richie, played with heart and grit by recent Emmy nominee Ebon Moss-Bachrach, has just completed a transformative stage at a fine dining restaurant. He wanders into the kitchen, reflecting, observing, absorbing. There, he finds Chef Terry, portrayed with quiet power by Olivia Colman, delicately peeling mushrooms.

They exchange a short but unforgettable conversation.

Richie asks, “Why do you do this?”
Terry replies, “Respect.”

That single word hangs in the air—soft yet commanding. It lands like a truth bomb.

Richie follows up, “Time well spent. That’s what it’s all about?”
Terry responds, “Yeah, I think so.”

As she steps away, she shares a simple, affirming note: Carmy, Richie’s current boss, told her that Richie was good with people.

That moment is not loud. It is not filled with urgency or ego. It is filled with presence, affirmation, and intentionality. Those are the moments worth striving for as a leader.

I love those quiet moments when I’m walking the hallways and visiting classrooms in the school I serve. These are the quiet moments that reflect the glow of a child who feels that sense of belonging. It is the knowing glance from a teacher when I see them in action with a teachable moment. Those are the moments which sustain and carry me on the days when I may be bereft of energy or I have forgotten my leadership purpose.

You go in quest of those moments that echo your purpose as a leader and resonate in impact that ignites the good for others. That makes the whole gig worthwhile.

Over the years, school leadership has sometimes been mistaken for performance art—standing on tables, performing viral-worthy stunts, orchestrating social media optics. While there’s a place for fun, it should never be contrived. Leadership is not about applause. It’s about authenticity.

The “Forks” episode plays like a compelling work of art. It simmers and marinates with beautifully-wrought simplicity. And in that quiet simplicity, we’re reminded: respect isn’t loud. It’s intentional.

And there it is—one leadership lesson.

Meghan:

Sean has so beautifully captured this story, and I’m so glad he mentions it because it is indeed one of my favorite moments from the show.

My husband works in college basketball, and a while back, I wrote a blog post titled, Painting Ladders. It was about how I learned from him that every little detail matters, and none of us are above contributing to those little details.

There was a season when his team won their conference. We all know the tradition: players climb the ladder to cut down the net. That moment is symbolic, beautiful, and hard-earned.

But before the moment, there was the ladder.

The team’s ladder was yellow—not one of the school’s colors. My husband didn’t complain or delegate. He went out, bought navy paint, and stayed up until midnight painting it. No announcement. No credit. He just did it.

Because it mattered. Because of respect.

I try to carry that lesson with me into schools. No job is below me. No detail is too small. It’s about honoring the work and the people who do it. It’s about the culture we’re building—one choice at a time.

“Every second counts” is a phrase repeated throughout The Bear. It’s even emblazoned on the kitchen wall. But this scene reminds us: it doesn’t mean hustle until you break. It means something deeper. Every second is an opportunity to honor your work, your people, and the space you share.

Leadership isn’t just pushing for results. It’s about presence. Listening. Quietly showing someone they matter.

Terry is peeling mushrooms. Richie is paying attention. A few words are exchanged. A leader is affirmed. A purpose is clarified.

That is leadership.

I believe these kinds of moments shape culture. Hallway conversations. Check-ins after a tough day. The unseen prep done with care. The fork that gets polished when no one is watching.

I remember when I first became a building principal. I had dreams of grand gestures for staff, but I was serving over 700 students PK–5 with no assistant principal or counselor. The grand ideas gave way to meaningful ones: showing up in classrooms, learning kids’ names (first, last, and middle), greeting students at the door, cleaning fingernails, brushing hair, riding the bus.

That’s where the culture was built.

There are no small moments in a school.

So, here’s to peeling mushrooms. Here’s to painting ladders. Here’s to time well spent, quiet presence, and respect that shows up without a microphone.

Every second really does count.

Let’s keep leading like it matters. Because it does.

Four Actionable Leadership Moves:

  1. Lead with Presence, Not Performance
    Show up consistently, not for the spotlight, but for the people. Leadership is built in everyday interactions, not staged moments.
  2. Honor the Small Details
    From a clean classroom to a student’s confidence boost, the smallest touches reflect the greatest respect. Don’t underestimate their impact.
  3. Practice Intentional Affirmation
    Just like Terry affirmed Richie, leaders should look for genuine moments to recognize others. Quiet encouragement often speaks the loudest.
  4. Be Willing to Paint the Ladder
    Do the behind-the-scenes work. Fix the overlooked things. Whether anyone notices or not, that’s how you show respect for the team and the mission.

Let’s keep polishing forks and painting ladders. Leadership lives in the quiet corners.

Six Lessons for Leaders from “The Bear”

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A collaborative reflection by Meghan Lawson & Sean Gaillard on leadership, belonging, and bright spots inspired by Season 4 of The Bear

Special Note: Big thanks to my good friend, Meghan Lawson, for collaboration and thought partnership on this joint blog post! Meghan is a dream to collaborate with and I am honored that we joined writing forces on this shared piece. Thank you, Chef!

Lessons from Season 4 of The Bear

So, if you haven’t watched, SPOILER ALERT.

I told my good friend, Sean Gaillard, this week that his friendship not only makes me a better leader, it helps me to listen more deeply and appreciate more fully. This includes music which won’t surprise those of you who know Sean. Over the past couple of years, Sean and I have bonded over our love of the show, The Bear, a show filled with beautiful messy people who  love imperfectly but love deeply. We cannot help but see many connections to education and hope you enjoy our six lessons from season 4 below.

Meghan 1: Less is More

Prior to this season, Carmy wanted to put out a new menu every day. He claimed to have many reasons for this. Fresh ingredients, novelty, the possibility of a Michilin star, but this proved to be both taxing on his team and expensive and unsustainable long-term. If The Bear wanted to stay in business, they would have to simplify. They would have to do less well. So, they started to minimize ingredients, focused on making simplified but exquisite meals consistently, and they worked to optimize the customer experience. As a result, things start to turn around for their restaurant.

I couldn’t help but see the inevitable parallel between this restaurant story and our work in schools. Too often, well-intentioned educational leaders learn of the latest and greatest in education and push those initiatives out to the staff in the hopes that this will be the year that they reach their school goals and see swift improvements in their data. We all know how the story ends. Some teachers burnout and others become disengaged figuring that “this too shall pass” so why bother with some of these “flavor of the month” strategies.

There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. When I need reminding of this, life humbles me with little missteps. I’ve put too much salt on my food to the point it’s become inedible. I’ve used too much blush or too much hair product and spent the day looking like a Broadway stage wannabe. And I’ve tried to do too much at one time with my team and had it backfire. So, I’m not writing this as some leadership expert. I’m writing this as someone who seems to learn lessons over and over again and only one way: the hard way. 

We’ve been working on growing the capacity of our building leadership teams in my school district. I presented a plan for the work to principals for feedback in the spring. Then, when the hustle of the school year subsided, and we shifted gears to summer planning and learning, after digging into some learning together, it was clear. Parts of my plan were too much, and we needed to pivot. So, we did. 

And this is why you need to listen to and trust your team.

Meghan 2: You Need a Team More than You Think

I read something powerful. I believe I found it in The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle. Essentially, in a study of teams, the team of high achievers who didn’t work closely together did not perform as well as the average performers on a high-functioning team. In The Bear, members of the team fully embrace their special role on the team. Ebraheim focuses on The Beef sandwich shop where it all started for this family owned restaurant. Turns out, this simple sandwich window is single-handedly keeping The Bear afloat. Syd focuses on her scallops. Tina (man, I just love her) focuses on making her pasta dish in under 3 minutes. Marcus focuses on being the best pastry chef he can be and even earns recognition in Food & Wine magazine. Richie, perhaps my favorite character, focuses on service. Nat on finances. They all do their part and do it well, and when another person is in some kind of trouble, they offer to help. They are in constant communication throughout the night. They have to be. They have to know when someone is walking behind them or when someone has a hot plate in their hands and or how much time remains before service. As they say, “Every Second Counts.” For the most part, they all have enough basic knowledge required to execute on various basic functions of the restaurants as needed. But they don’t have to do it all. 

And yet, here we are. Often expecting ourselves to be the master of all things in our classrooms and schools. We want to be able to do it all and do it all at a high level. But what if we shifted our energy to identify how to leverage the strengths of our team? It’s not that we aren’t going to meet and won’t be collaborating. The Bear has a team meeting every day as do most restaurants. Some even break bread together before they begin service. But are we being strategic about the way we utilize the gifts of our teammates in a way that is equitable and advances our mission? I’m not a whiz at spreadsheets, but I know how to facilitate a meeting that moves us from point A to point B and ensures equity of voice. Can I learn how to be better at spreadsheet work? Sure, I can. We are all learners. Learning is our business. Is becoming a spreadsheet master, something I hate by the way, the best use of my time and energy when I have teammates who thrive in spreadsheets? Probably not. Planning an impactful meeting, using those sheets, gives me energy and is also needed. 

Meghan  3: You Are Not Your Job

Throughout this season of The Bear, it’s clear that Carmy is having an existential crisis. He’s spent his adult life hyper-focused on his work. So much so, that this work became all he knew of the world and himself. For those of us, myself included, with childhood and adult trauma, this is a coping mechanism that I know all too well. It’s easier to compartmentalize the hard stuff and throw ourselves fully into our work than it is to confront painful realities. Natalie forces Carmy to hold her baby for a moment. He’s meeting her baby for the first time, and you can tell he is uncomfortable holding the baby at first but with time, he eases into it and himself in the moment with her. There’s a split second where Richie catches a glimpse of them, uncle and niece together, and smiles to himself realizing how special this moment truly is for Carmy. Carmy has countless moments of awakening outside of the kitchen this season and explains in the final season that he doesn’t know who he is outside of the kitchen. 

I love our profession. I believe deeply in the work we do. And I worry about us. For too many of us, myself included, we’ve centered our lives and identities on success in education. I worry about this so much that I wrote about it in Legacy of Learning, “You are giving others the strength to move forward, the strength to believe in themselves, the strength to try to make this world a better place. Knowing this makes being an educator so meaningful. But we don’t have to suffer while we make this kind of impact. In fact, the more we can live well and be well, the more our impact will grow.”

If our well-being and self-esteem is solely predicated on how well we are believe we are performing in our work, that is a very fragile ecosystem. We don’t have to earn love or earn self-worth. We already have it. Everything we have is everything we need. So, let’s start paying attention to how we talk to ourselves. Let’s talk to ourselves like we talk to people we love. The most important work is the work we do on ourselves. Everything else is secondary. 

Sean: Collaborating with Meghan Lawson is always a bright spot. Her lens on leadership sharpens mine. What’s even better is that her friendship always makes be better. Her reflections on The Bear Season 4 kick open the door for all of us to pause, reflect, and notice the extraordinary in the everyday. I’m grateful to add to this conversation not just as a fan of the show, but as a school leader who believes deeply in the power of culture, connection, and care just as Meghan exemplifies.

This summer, Meghan and I had the chance to hear Dan Heath speak live at the ISTE + ASCD Annual Conference in San Antonio. His keynote, inspired by his book Reset: How To Change What’s Not Working, challenged us to “study the bright spots.” His words weren’t just memorable; they were actionable. That idea has stayed with me, echoing in my heart and practice.

Bright spots can be found in great TV, too. And The Bear is brimming with them—tiny, powerful moments that show what leadership, belonging, and humanity look like under pressure. Here are a few that have stuck with me and how they’ve nudged me to lead better:

Sean: 1. The Art of Delight

In one of the standout scenes, Richie makes sure a guest gets an authentic Chicago Beef sandwich. That alone would’ve been enough. But then? The restaurant team makes it snow. A surprise. A moment of joy. An act of intentional delight.

Great leaders do the same. They listen for delight opportunities. They tune into what others need even if they don’t say it out loud. Delight isn’t about flashy gestures; it’s about showing people they matter.

For me, this takes the form of Positive Principal Phone Calls Home. I call families not because something went wrong—but because something went right. A student showed kindness. A kid made growth. A teacher created magic. It’s the equivalent of snow falling indoors. And it always lands.

Sean: 2. You Are Never Alone

Carmy, fractured and guarded, prepares lunch for his estranged mother. Syd chooses to show up for Richie even though the wedding they’re attending is for his ex-wife. These moments speak volumes. In the kitchen or in the chaos, someone chooses to be there.

Leadership, at its best, is presence. Not performance.

On a recent flight home, I noticed a fellow passenger battling flight anxiety. No fanfare. Just a quiet offer to talk, sit, and be. We shared the journey—sky and fear alike. That moment reminded me of school. We often say the principal’s office can be a lonely place. But it doesn’t have to be. Leaders must extend that reminder: you are not alone to students, staff, and families. And sometimes, to ourselves.

Sean: 3. Belonging Matters

There’s a powerful scene where Richie’s daughter is too afraid to dance at a wedding. What do the adults do? They crawl under the table and share their own fears. It’s tender, honest, and unforgettable.

Leadership is often loud. But sometimes, it’s quiet courage: the willingness to go under the table with someone else’s fear and stay there with them until they’re ready to rise.

This summer, I wrote handwritten letters to my staff. Simple notes of gratitude and anticipation. No big speech. Just connection. It’s how belonging begins by saying: I see you. I’m glad you’re here. I can’t wait for what’s ahead.

The Bear isn’t just entertainment. It’s a mirror. A reminder. A bright spot. And as we get ready for a new school year, there’s no better time to slow down, reflect, and carry these lessons into our leadership.

-Here’s to delight.
-Here’s to presence.
– Here’s to belonging.
– Here’s to the bright spots.

Hope On: Cultivating a Culture of Possibility in the Schoolhouse

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I’m an unabashed fan of the television series The Bear. I’ve breezed through all three seasons, savoring the beautiful portrayal of a group of people coming together around a shared vision to make the impossible possible. The story of a humble sandwich shop transforming into a fine dining restaurant, with aspirations of becoming the world’s greatest, is nothing short of inspiring.

Without giving away spoilers for those who haven’t seen the latest season, I want to share a brief scene that recently came up in a conversation with Meghan Lawson while preparing for our new podcast, Hope Amplified. It’s no secret that Meghan and I admire the show, having discussed it at length on my other podcast, #PrincipalLinerNotes.

Talking with Meghan is always a meaningful and uplifting experience, and I’m eagerly anticipating our upcoming discussions on the art and science of hope in a new podcast we are co-creating called Hope Amplified. As we were mapping out our inaugural episode, we both recalled a powerful scene from the Season 3 finale of The Bear.

In the scene, the chefs and restaurant staff gather for an impromptu afterparty, marking the bittersweet closure of a renowned restaurant. The head chef—celebrated worldwide for her culinary brilliance—decides to prepare a midnight snack for the guests. The host, a rising chef, hesitates when the famous chef finds only a few modest ingredients, including a frozen pizza. Yet, the renowned chef isn’t deterred. With creativity and mastery, she transforms those humble ingredients into something extraordinary. It’s a moment worth watching, as she turns a frozen pizza into a culinary delight.

As we reflected on this scene, we saw it as a fitting emblem for hope. The show itself is a deep, reflective series filled with life-affirming moments of perseverance, collaboration, and innovation. In Hope Rising by Casey Gwinn and Chan Hellman, hope is defined as the belief that the future can be better than the present, combined with the understanding that we have the power to make it so.

Educators strive to embody this belief every day. Even with limited resources, they create transformative experiences in the classroom. I think of the teachers I have the privilege to support as principal at Charles England Elementary, who cultivate hope daily, opening new possibilities for our students. I’m reminded of my 5th-grade teacher, Mrs. McMonagle, who saw something in me—a young, awkward, light-skinned African American boy—that I didn’t always see in myself. She revealed the possibilities within the written word and storytelling. I also think of my first teachers, my parents, who taught me to dream big, walk with purpose, and hold my head high.

Teachers need many things, but at the core is the hope that they can make a difference in the lives of children. It’s the leader’s role to ignite that hope by fostering a sense of belonging, trust, and open communication. Leaders must call out hope and passionately embrace the possibilities it brings. It’s not just a sentiment but an essential, strategic action.

I’m thrilled to dive deeper into the art and science of hope in upcoming episodes of Hope Amplified with Meghan. Some may argue that hope is not a strategy for leaders to depend on. While I understand that perspective, I disagree. Hope isn’t merely a strategy; it’s a must. It’s an essential thread in the daily fabric of our schools, shaping the lives of those we serve. Without hope, we have nothing. With it, we have purpose, potential, and the catalyst for meaningful change. Don’t let anyone deprive you of that spark. Hope on.

Stay tuned for the debut of Hope Amplified, launching November 2nd. Meghan and I invite you to join the conversation and share your thoughts on hope using the hashtag #HopeAmplified. Here are three small moves for leaders to inspire hope in your school:

  1. Impromptu Restorative Circle: Gather colleagues and teachers for an informal circle to share what gives them hope.
  2. Hope in Action Bulletin Board: Showcase experiences from your school where hope is making a difference.
  3. Hope Playlist: Curate a playlist of songs that inspire hope and share it with your faculty.

Let’s continue amplifying hope together. #HopeAmplified

Within Our Second: Leadership Reflections in the Moment

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In a recent episode of my #PrincipalLinerNotes podcast, I had the true honor of welcoming back my friend, Meghan Lawson, for another insightful discussion on “The Bear.” This show has become a favorite of ours for many reasons, particularly its parallels to leadership, culture, and collaboration. “The Bear” tells an intense tale of a Chicago sandwich shop’s transformation into a world-class restaurant—a journey that resonates deeply with those in leadership roles. I highly recommend checking out the podcast episodes featuring Meghan’s sharp insights on “The Bear.”

Without revealing spoilers, one notable aspect of the show is a sign prominently displayed in the restaurant kitchen: “Every Second Counts.” This sign, curated by the protagonist Carmy, serves as a constant reminder to the staff about the importance of urgency. Having waited tables myself, I understand the precision required in food preparation and service—it demands synchronized efforts, clear communication, and flawless execution. It’s akin to a choreographed dance, where every team member plays a crucial role in delivering an exceptional experience to customers.

“The Bear” beautifully captures this intensity, showcasing the behind-the-scenes artistry of food service, complemented by a soundtrack that enriches the viewing experience—a treat for any music enthusiast like myself. (Any show referencing “Vegetables” and “Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow” from the “Brian Wilson Presents SMiLE” album is worth the price of admission!)

The “Every Second Counts” sign silently commands respect throughout the series. It underscores the necessity of prompt action and efficient use of time—a principle crucial in change leadership. The characters on the show display a solemnity for the message embedded in the three words of the sign. Watching “The Bear” has inspired me to reflect on my own approach to leading change, finding invaluable lessons even in non-educational media like this.

While it’s easy to interpret “Every Second Counts” as merely a call for speed and urgency, its deeper message lies in appreciating each moment. Every second contributes to a collective tapestry of strengths, talents, and skills that enriches any organization or school community. A leader must recognize and harness these strengths, ensuring alignment with the team’s goals. Additionally, a leader must support the people they serve in seeing the good within themselves within the moment.

Moreover, embracing “Every Second Counts” means being present and mindful—acknowledging the significance of each moment, both for oneself and others. Recently, a personal health scare reminded me of life’s preciousness, reinforcing the importance of cherishing every moment and its potential for goodness.

Meghan Lawson’s book, Legacy of Learning, emphasizes the value of savoring small moves and building upon them—a sentiment echoed in Ryan Holiday’s insights about Nick Saban’s coaching philosophy in The Obstacle Is The Way. Coach Saban encouraged his players in what he called the “process.” In other words, each player was to make each play, step, and down the very best.

As leaders, it’s crucial to cultivate this mindset not just for organizational success but also for personal well-being. Every second counts towards advancing our mission and nurturing those we serve. Every second counts for stewarding our own well-being and savoring the moments that serve as the architecture for our life.

Here are three ways to embrace this approach:

  1. Reflection: Take time for introspection through activities like walks, reading, exercise, or journaling.
  2. Acknowledge the Good: Verbalize appreciation for positive moments as they occur.
  3. Intentional Pauses: Schedule moments in your day to recognize and appreciate the good around you.

By embodying “Every Second Counts” in both professional and personal spheres, we enrich our lives and those of others, fostering a culture of mindfulness, gratitude, and purposeful action.