Heartbreak in Leadership

My leadership heart was broken.

An idea I had nurtured and built was dismissed. The specifics of the idea are not important for this blog. What matters is that I had a vision for the schoolhouse that wasn’t embraced by the faculty I served. This is a familiar scenario when you sit in the principal’s chair—you have an idea that energizes you and perhaps others. You see some momentum, but for various reasons, the idea fizzles out. It’s part of the leadership journey. Some ideas gain traction, while others don’t. I accept the responsibility for the failure of an idea to take hold. Maybe I didn’t communicate the ‘why’ compellingly, or perhaps my own arrogance hindered capacity-building with others. Regardless, we invest passion into our ideas. When we push beyond the mundane tasks and have-tos as school leaders and our passion isn’t accepted, it’s a challenge not to take it personally.

I bounced back from this setback. It wasn’t the first time my leadership heart had cracked, and it wouldn’t be the last. There would be future successes and failures. What made this particular loss resonate was the profound sense of loneliness. The principal gig is isolating as it is, but feeling the rejection of a cherished idea made it especially painful. At that time, my usual network of thought partners wasn’t available. I had to endure this one alone and dig deeply into my core to carry on.

Eventually, I was able to connect with a trusted thought partner. That person was able to listen to me, ask critical questions, and empower me to get back at it. I was fortunate that I had someone to help me navigate through the leadership blues and help me recalibrate my course.

Not every school leader has this resource. A 2022 study from NASSP cites that 77% of principals in the US desire to connect with other leaders facing similar challenges. School leaders faces many challenges alone bereft of authentic and consistent support.

The Loneliness of Leadership

They don’t teach you enough in “principal school” about how lonely leadership can be. That’s why nurturing your core as a leader and keeping your loved ones close is essential. It’s also crucial for school leaders to be open to coaching. Despite the title and position, no amount of status should make us look down on the need for a network of thought partners and coaching. School systems must develop intentional coaching networks for leaders due to the loneliness, anxiety, and fatigue that often accompany leadership roles. I’ve been fortunate to have valued thought partners and coaches in various leadership assignments. It’s vital that we, as leaders, find those trusted voices to harmonize with and share our thoughts, fears, and ideas. Every leader needs a coach, and there are many pathways to find one if your school district doesn’t provide one. Tapping into a Professional Learning Network is one way to find helpful school leaders willing to share their expertise.

The Power of Coaching

Coaching is essential for sustaining momentum and balance in a leadership role. We must be open to and accept the strengths of others to fill our buckets. Coaching helps us navigate the complex landscape of leadership, providing us with the tools to overcome challenges and celebrate successes. An effective coach offers a fresh perspective, helping us see our blind spots and areas for growth.

Three Ways for School Leaders to Seek Out Coaching Support

1. Join a Mastermind Group

• Mastermind groups bring together like-minded leaders who support and challenge each other to grow. These groups provide a safe space to share ideas, seek advice, and gain new insights.
• Resource: Here’s one to explore with the Teach Better Team at this site: https://teachbetter.com/mastermind/

2. Participate in a Book Study

• Engaging in a book study with fellow leaders allows for deep dives into relevant topics and provides a structured way to learn and discuss new concepts. It also fosters a sense of community and shared purpose.
• Resource: ASCD Book Study Groups provide opportunities to explore educational leadership books with peers.

3. Utilize Virtual Coaching

• Virtual coaching offers flexibility and access to a wide range of experts. Whether through video calls, webinars, or online courses, virtual coaching can provide valuable support and guidance tailored to your specific needs.
• Resource: BTS Spark offers a wealth of resources and opportunities for individualized coaching.

Specific Resources for Coaching Support

1. The National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP)

• NAESP offers mentoring programs, professional development resources, and a supportive community for elementary school leaders seeking guidance and support.

2. The Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD)

• ASCD provides numerous professional development opportunities, including book studies, webinars, and conferences that can help school leaders grow and connect with others.

3. The International Society for Technology in Education (ISTE)

• ISTE offers resources and professional learning opportunities focused on integrating technology in education, supporting school leaders in leveraging digital tools for effective leadership.

4. The National Association of Secondary School Principals (NASSP)

• NASSP provides leadership resources, professional development, and a network of support specifically for secondary school leaders.

5. BTS Spark

• BTS Spark offers coaching and leadership development programs tailored for educators, focusing on personal and professional growth.

Leadership is a journey filled with sublime peaks and ponderous valleys. Embracing coaching can make the journey less lonely and more enriching. By seeking out coaching support, we sharpen our saw, maintain our leadership core, and continue to grow and inspire those we lead. In this ever-shifting landscape of Education especially felt with the onset of AI, it is vital for school leaders to have needed support.

I invite you to share your resources and ideas in the comments for this blog post. Let’s learn and grow together.