The In-Between Moments: Finding the Groove of Connection at ISTE + ASCD

I’m dancing.

The groove is on the move in San Antonio, and Marvin Gaye’s “Got To Give It Up” is pulling me into the aisle at the end of an unforgettable MainStage experience at the ISTE + ASCD Conference. DJ Catwalk is spinning the exit music. The room is clearing out after being inspired by the beautiful voices and stories of Sabba Quidwai, Scott Shigeoka, and Jason Reynolds. And there I am—dancing alone. No choreography. No cool moves. Just me, caught in the joy of the moment.

This was one of those in-between moments—the kind you don’t plan for but end up meaning the most. The kind that happens off-script, off-schedule, and sometimes even offbeat. It’s like a classroom teachable moment or when a band falls into an unexpected groove and something beautiful just… happens.

I hadn’t been to ISTE in six years. I had never been to an ASCD event. I have been a member of both organizations for years. But this first combined experience didn’t feel like two worlds crashing together—it felt like home. It reminded me of The Brady Bunch hitting its stride: unless you were paying attention to the lyrics or the first season, you forgot it was a blended family. It was seamless, like when the Brady kids became a singing group and belted out “It’s A Sunshine Day.”

There were many moments that filled my heart.

I was honored to be named an ISTE-ASCD 20 to Watch Award recipient. (Grateful for to meet Lauren Richardson!) It was humbling beyond words. I was also privileged to co-present with my friend and thought-partner, Dr. Andrea Trudeau, on the partnership between principals and librarians—a project that has grown from our year-long ISTE-ASCD Expert Webinar Series. That presentation was special, no doubt.

But the moments in between—those moments between sessions, in the aisles, on bookstore strolls, and even in hurried walks through the Expo Hall—are the ones that have stayed with me. Like meeting finally, Jacie Maslyk, an amazing author and expert on STEM and Literacy, was akin to meeting a member of The Beatles. Or even meeting Jen Rafferty, an inspiring voice and friend in my PLN, was so meaningful.

I had the joy of finally meeting my longtime friend and collaborator, Meghan Lawson, in person. Walking the bookstore with her, sharing sessions, and learning side-by-side filled my soul. We made sure to share learning and send love to our mutual friend Lauren Kaufman, whose presence was deeply missed. And it was incredible to reconnect with some of my North Carolina PLN band—Brian Whitson, Lindsey Sipe, and Ashley McBride. Seeing familiar faces from home made it all the more meaningful.

I’ll never forget the rush of moving through the Expo Hall with Andrea as we tried to find one of our longtime inspirations, Jennifer Gonzalez. We’ve admired her work through her Cult of Pedagogy podcast and blog for years. When we finally met, the moment turned into a conversation about music, vinyl, and what’s on our respective turntables. It felt like family.

I had the honor of seeing my mentor, Todd Whitaker, co-present with Steve Gruenert. They are the co-authors of School Culture Rewired, a book that sparked the beginning of #CelebrateMonday for me years ago. During their session, Todd spotted me from the audience and invited me to share a quick story from my seat. That was another in-between moment I won’t forget.

There were so many others. Seeing Danny Steele drop the mic in a session on instructional leadership. Sitting in awe during Suzanne Dailey’s powerful Turbo Talk on happiness. One line in particular stuck with me: “Instead of asking someone how their day was, ask them, ‘Tell me something good.’” That simple shift reframed how I want to connect with others—whether in the hallway, in PLCs, or with students at dismissal. Of course, the uplifting symphony of the words of Baruti Kafele during his session on his book, What Is My Value Instructionally to the Teachers I Supervise? resonated with me deeply.

And perhaps one of the most unexpected and humbling moments? During a roundtable discussion hosted by Educational Leadership magazine, someone referenced this very blog—Principal Liner Notes—as a resource. That meant more to me than I can express. It was one of those quiet nods that affirms you’re doing something that matters.


Bringing It Home: Six In-Between Moves for Meaningful Momentum

When a conference like this ends, it’s easy to slip into the post-event blues. But I choose to stay in the groove—to keep the connection and meaning alive in small but powerful ways. Here are six moves I’m bringing back to the schoolhouse:

MoveWhat to TryWhy It Matters
1. Share One TrackDon’t overwhelm: just share one idea or resource with your team.Simple focus leads to deeper conversation.
2. Ask Better QuestionsReplace “How was your day?” with “Tell me something good.”Invites joy, not just information.
3. Cue the TurntableAsk someone what’s on their playlist, book stack, or lesson plan.Sparks connection beyond the surface.
4. Micro-PD MomentsHost a 15-minute “conference spark” PD during planning or lunch.Small doses of big ideas go a long way.
5. Partner Up with PurposeTry a principal-librarian collaboration or cross-role project.Creativity thrives in unlikely pairings.
6. Keep the Groove GoingSchedule a reconnection call with someone you met at ISTE-ASCD.Keeps momentum rolling beyond the swag bag.

Final Riff

This conference reminded me that the work we do is about people. It’s about presence. It’s about staying in rhythm with the learners, teachers, mentors, and friends who help us write our leadership song.

To everyone I met, hugged, high-fived, or learned with in San Antonio: thank you. You filled my heart. You reminded me of the beauty in the in-between.

So keep asking what’s on someone’s turntable. Keep dancing in the aisle. And most of all—keep leading without limits. .

Learn More About ISTE + ASCD here:

https://www.ascd.org/

https://iste.org/

Mending Hearts: The Essential Role of Coaching in Leadership

Heartbreak in Leadership

My leadership heart was broken.

An idea I had nurtured and built was dismissed. The specifics of the idea are not important for this blog. What matters is that I had a vision for the schoolhouse that wasn’t embraced by the faculty I served. This is a familiar scenario when you sit in the principal’s chair—you have an idea that energizes you and perhaps others. You see some momentum, but for various reasons, the idea fizzles out. It’s part of the leadership journey. Some ideas gain traction, while others don’t. I accept the responsibility for the failure of an idea to take hold. Maybe I didn’t communicate the ‘why’ compellingly, or perhaps my own arrogance hindered capacity-building with others. Regardless, we invest passion into our ideas. When we push beyond the mundane tasks and have-tos as school leaders and our passion isn’t accepted, it’s a challenge not to take it personally.

I bounced back from this setback. It wasn’t the first time my leadership heart had cracked, and it wouldn’t be the last. There would be future successes and failures. What made this particular loss resonate was the profound sense of loneliness. The principal gig is isolating as it is, but feeling the rejection of a cherished idea made it especially painful. At that time, my usual network of thought partners wasn’t available. I had to endure this one alone and dig deeply into my core to carry on.

Eventually, I was able to connect with a trusted thought partner. That person was able to listen to me, ask critical questions, and empower me to get back at it. I was fortunate that I had someone to help me navigate through the leadership blues and help me recalibrate my course.

Not every school leader has this resource. A 2022 study from NASSP cites that 77% of principals in the US desire to connect with other leaders facing similar challenges. School leaders faces many challenges alone bereft of authentic and consistent support.

The Loneliness of Leadership

They don’t teach you enough in “principal school” about how lonely leadership can be. That’s why nurturing your core as a leader and keeping your loved ones close is essential. It’s also crucial for school leaders to be open to coaching. Despite the title and position, no amount of status should make us look down on the need for a network of thought partners and coaching. School systems must develop intentional coaching networks for leaders due to the loneliness, anxiety, and fatigue that often accompany leadership roles. I’ve been fortunate to have valued thought partners and coaches in various leadership assignments. It’s vital that we, as leaders, find those trusted voices to harmonize with and share our thoughts, fears, and ideas. Every leader needs a coach, and there are many pathways to find one if your school district doesn’t provide one. Tapping into a Professional Learning Network is one way to find helpful school leaders willing to share their expertise.

The Power of Coaching

Coaching is essential for sustaining momentum and balance in a leadership role. We must be open to and accept the strengths of others to fill our buckets. Coaching helps us navigate the complex landscape of leadership, providing us with the tools to overcome challenges and celebrate successes. An effective coach offers a fresh perspective, helping us see our blind spots and areas for growth.

Three Ways for School Leaders to Seek Out Coaching Support

  1. Join a Mastermind Group
  • Mastermind groups bring together like-minded leaders who support and challenge each other to grow. These groups provide a safe space to share ideas, seek advice, and gain new insights.
  • Resource: Here’s one to explore with the Teach Better Team at this site: https://teachbetter.com/mastermind/

2. Participate in a Book Study

  • Engaging in a book study with fellow leaders allows for deep dives into relevant topics and provides a structured way to learn and discuss new concepts. It also fosters a sense of community and shared purpose.
  • Resource: ASCD Book Study Groups provide opportunities to explore educational leadership books with peers.

3. Utilize Virtual Coaching

  • Virtual coaching offers flexibility and access to a wide range of experts. Whether through video calls, webinars, or online courses, virtual coaching can provide valuable support and guidance tailored to your specific needs.
  • Resource: BTS Spark offers a wealth of resources and opportunities for individualized coaching.

Specific Resources for Coaching Support

  1. The National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP)
  • NAESP offers mentoring programs, professional development resources, and a supportive community for elementary school leaders seeking guidance and support.

2. The Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD)

  • ASCD provides numerous professional development opportunities, including book studies, webinars, and conferences that can help school leaders grow and connect with others.

3. The International Society for Technology in Education (ISTE)

  • ISTE offers resources and professional learning opportunities focused on integrating technology in education, supporting school leaders in leveraging digital tools for effective leadership.

4. The National Association of Secondary School Principals (NASSP)

  • NASSP provides leadership resources, professional development, and a network of support specifically for secondary school leaders.

5. BTS Spark

  • BTS Spark offers coaching and leadership development programs tailored for educators, focusing on personal and professional growth.

Leadership is a journey filled with sublime peaks and ponderous valleys. Embracing coaching can make the journey less lonely and more enriching. By seeking out coaching support, we sharpen our saw, maintain our leadership core, and continue to grow and inspire those we lead. In this ever-shifting landscape of Education especially felt with the onset of AI, it is vital for school leaders to have needed support.

I invite you to share your resources and ideas in the comments for this blog post. Let’s learn and grow together.